A Hassidic Tale

"The son of a prosperous member of my congregation in Petrosian [the main town in the Jiu Valley district in the southern Carpathian Mountains of Romania]," relates the Hungarian rabbi narrating this tale, "was to marry a young girl from the village of Cimpoi. Naturally, I was invited to the wedding and I traveled to Cimpoi in a carriage ordered for me by the parents of the bride and groom. The carriage driver, a bearded, Hasidic Jew, wore his Sabbath clothes; even the horses were decorated with flowers and pennants. All preparations had been made for the wedding, which was to be held, as was customary, in the middle of the road. Holding candles, the groom's companions accompanied him to the wedding canopy, while the band played. The festive atmosphere was full of hope. The shohet [ritual slaughterer], who was also a cantor (typical of a community like Cimpoi), sang the traditional welcoming tune, while family and guests gathered around the wedding canopy, awaiting the bride. However, she had not yet arrived.

"Suddenly, shouts of women arguing were heard from the house, and the bridegroom's mother ran out of the house, heading for the canopy. Her face expressing anger, she extinguished the candles held by the groom's companions. Grabbing hold of the groom's hands, she ordered him, 'Come home immediately! What a horrible wedding! Come home now. The wedding is off! Let's go home now! The bride's parents are acting like barbarians, not like Jews, who always keep their word ... Come on, the wedding is off. Let's go home.' The band stopped playing, the wedding canopy was dismantled and guests gathered in small groups, debating the basis for the quarrel. I learned the argument had broken out between the families of the bride and groom over a few blankets, pillows and sheets the bride's parents had promised to grant her as a dowry, but which they did not give her.

"I found the scene very upsetting. I had never seen or heard anything like this in Hungary, where poor people either make no promises or keep whatever promise they do make and where nobody makes a scene over money matters. I was amazed that the other guests were not surprised. They told me that, in the Maramures region (in northwestern Romania), such scenes frequently occur and weddings are canceled at the last moment because of some dispute between the families of the bride and groom.

"The guests began to disperse, when one Jew, a simple laborer - a lumberjack who toiled in the Carpathian forests - loudly addressed the guests: 'My fellow guests! How much money are we talking about? How much do the missing bed linens and quilts cost?'

"The bridegroom's father replied, '20 silver crowns.' A large sum equivalent to what a simple laborer earned for three months of toil. The lumberjack undid two of the buttons of his shirt, removed a kerchief holding 20 silver crowns, and handed the money to the groom's father: 'Here's the money. Why humiliate a daughter of Israel for 20 silver crowns?'

"The wedding canopy was again set up, the candles were relit, the wedding ceremony proceeded in accordance with Jewish law, and the guests - the vast majority of whom cut boards in the sawmill or worked in the forests - danced until midnight to the band's melodies"

Pinchas Miller, "Olamo Shel Abba" ["The World of My Father"], Jerusalem, 5744 (1983-84), pp. 382-83