Recent Rise In International Disputes Traced Back To Cute U.N. Tour Guide
NEW YORK—A recent spate of diplomatic conflicts around the globe has been linked to the hiring of an attractive tour guide by the United Nations, sources at the international organization's headquarters reported Monday.
Distractions caused by the cute, perky guide, 23-year-old Northwestern University graduate Rachel Proxmire, have been blamed for escalating tensions between Turkey and Armenia, Israel and Jordan, and the United States and North Korea, as well as for civil unrest in Honduras, Iran, and China.
"It's embarrassing," Turkish diplomat Hamit Ozan said. "One minute, I'm calmly explaining to the General Assembly our position on the alleged Armenian genocide, and the next, I see Rachel come in with a tour group and I get all flustered trying to think of something to say to get her to notice me. Before I know it, I've inadvertently acknowledged crimes my country has been denying for decades, and it's all over the news."
Added Ozan, "God, she's so pretty."
In March of this year, when Proxmire began her employment with the U.N., officials at the organization immediately noticed a lightened mood in the assembly hall, with many delegates smiling more and humming contentedly to themselves. Within a few weeks, though, the number and intensity of geopolitical disputes began to increase.
"She was…wow," Saudi delegate Ahmad Khouri said. "The first time I saw her, I was in the middle of speaking out on the deplorable treatment of the Palestinian people, and suddenly she caught my eye. I just completely lost my train of thought. She has that creamy, smooth skin—and that laugh! It's like music."
The whole story here.
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