Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Anti-Neturei Karta Satire

From SultanKnish, this Purim satire on Neturei Karta (for the pic, ya gotta go there):-

In time for Purim leaders of the Neturei Karta organization announced plans to pay a visit to Sushan in support of controversial Persian leader Haman HaRasha.

"We are here to proclaim that we absolutely reject the Zionists like Mordechai who claim to speak for the Jewish people," said Rabbi Dovid Weiss. "Haman is not an Anti-Semite, this is a lie. Haman did not want to kill all the Jews, he only wanted to kill the Zionists and we support him in this. While Zionists like Mordechai and Ezra are working to rebuild Israel and displace and persecute the native Samaritan and Idumean peoples, we Torah-true Jews reject this and stand with Haman and the Amalekite peoples in utter opposition to Zionism."

As part of their tour Rabbi Dovid Weiss, Rabbi Moshe Ber Beck and Rabbi Datan Aviram approvingly visited Haman's lots casting chambers, the king's treasury and the gallows where he plans to hang Mordechai.

"Haman is a great leader," said Rabbi Moshe Ber Beck. "For too long the Zionists have oppressed the Amalekite people and massacred their great king Agag. We support Haman's call for justice and a day of reckoning with the Zionists which we look forwards to knowing that no Torah-true Anti-Zionist Jews will be harmed in the process."

While the Jewish community of Sushan was busy fasting and praying the Neturei Karta delegation toured happier parts of Sushan where weapons were being sharpened and stakes prepeared by the sons of Haman for the Jewish community of Sushan.

"We have met with Haman and his beautiful wife Zeresh, we have enjoyed the hospitality of their home and their many possessions which Haman eagerly showed us," Rabbi Datan Aviram said. "I am sure that his ten sons will grow up to follow in their father's footsteps. They share our common opposition to Zionism and we are sure they will rise very high."

On departing the Neturei Karta delegation expressed their hopes that Haman would help ensure the dismantling of the Jewish authority in Israel and fully restore the rule to its rightfull Idumean, Philistinian and Amalekite rulers.

"I am not a Zionist or an Israeli," said Rabbi Moshe Ber Beck, "I am instead proud to call myself an Amalekite too and hope one day to live under an Amalekite government in an Amalekite state."

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