Thursday, May 22, 2008

Another Olmert Solicitation Letter

Like Jameel at the Muqata, I too received a letter that purports to originate from the Prime Minister's Office:-

From: Ehud Olmert <pm@pmo.gov.il>
Date: Tue, May 20, 2008 at 5:20 PM
Subject: urgent
To: Yisrael Medad <yisrael.medad@gmail.com>

Dearest Friend,

May Almighty God be with you, and how are you doing?

My intention of contacting you is to solicit your assistance for a project, which will be mutually beneficial. Though I know my decision to contact you is to a large extent unconventional, the prevailing circumstances necessitated my action. I am Mr. Ehud Olmert from Yenimsvelt Jerusalem, corner Cremieux St. I am married to artiste extraordinaire Aliza. (Here's a picture of an example of her outstanding artistic flavor and capability:)



We have been married for some 38 years. Our eldest son, lives in New York and signed a petition refusing to do reserve duty in the occupied territories. The younger son, Ariel, did not serve at all and studied in Paris and is returning to Israel. One of our daughters, Danna, is involved with Machsom Watch, the all-female organisation that monitors the conduct of Israeli soldiers at checkpoints. She is lesbian but is also a literary editor so she does make a contribution to the benefit of society. We were devoted Zionists although recently, we have had second thoughts. When I was still a pupil of Jabotinsky and Menachem Begin, I made a huge deposit in millions of US dollars with a Deposit Company in overseas. (I will tell you the amount as we proceed).

Recently, my doctor told me that I have a medical problem that could prove dangerous to my health and in fact, might kill me. Though what disturbs me, mostly is my investigation sickness.

I have been striking out at the Land of Israel now for the past 15 years. Although I was an enthusiastic supporter of the opening of the Hasmonean Tunnel, when I personally took a sledgehammer in hand to open the last obstruction, I have realized that man was placed in positions such as I have held - MK, Mayor, Minister and Prime Minister - to make money, or receive gifts in the fomr of pens, discounts on real estate purchases and such. And to do so, I have returned to Zionism although you might not be aware of that given my recent negotiations with Syria.

Having known my condition I decided to donate this new fund I am registering to either a Zionist organization or devoted Zionist individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct herein. I want this Zionist organization or individual to use this money in all sincerity to fund educational institutions, synagogues, Yeshivot, orphanages, widows, and also propagating the word of Herzl and Jabotinsky and to ensure that the society upholds the views and belief regarding the Land of Israel as expressed in the Holy Bible.

Dearest friend's, this is unbelievable i know due to what is happening in the world now, i will prove to you as we proceed that this is not scam. The true Zionism emphasizes so much on GOD benevolence and this has encourage me to take the bold step. I took this decision because I don't have anyone really that will inherit this money and my wife's relatives are into some radical Organizations and I don't want a situation where this money will be used in an unholy manner.

Hence the reasons for this bold decision. I know that after death I will be in the Bosom of our Lord (or maybe someone else's bosom - is Pam available?) the most beneficent and the most merciful. I don't need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health, because of the presence of my wive's relatives around me always. I don't want them to know about this development.

With God all things are possible. As soon as I receive your reply on my private, I shall give you the contact information of the Deposit Company in oversea where the money was deposited. I will also issue a letter of authority to the Deposit Company authorizing them that the said fund have being willed to you and a copy of such authorization will be forwarded to you. I want you and the Zionist community where you reside to always pray for me. My happiness is that I lived as a true devoted Zionist worthy of emulation. Whoever that wants to serve the Land of Israel must serve truth and in fairness. I will not stipulate any precise amount to reward you, as it will have to be on pre-negotiated terms, based on your level of involvement.

Please always be prayerful all through your life. Any delay in your reply will give room in sourcing for another organization or a devoted Zionist for this same purpose. Until I hear from you by email, my dreams will rest squarely on your Shoulders.

May the Almighty God continue to guide and protect you.

Ehud Olmert, Advocate and Counsel.



P.S. I have made less than 10% alterations in the original letter I received this week, and I have left in place all the spelling mistakes. Awkward grammar I didn't touch.

3 comments:

Jameel @ The Muqata said...

I'm flattered :)

YMedad said...

That's the way the blogosphere works

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