Super Bowel Modesty Issues

Thanks to LK:

I know this doesnt need to be said but I cant resist. THE TV MUST BE TURNED OFF DURING THE HALFTIME SHOW!  I heard there was a mysa a few years back where one of the woman involved in the show had a "wardrobe malfunction."  Well not in my house. Ahh but you might say that Madonna is a real masmid of Kabullah and she is on such a madreiga that the moment wont get to her.  I hear the vort, but "safek d'orysa l'chumra" so I insist on that the half time show is not to be watched in my home.

You want the whole piece?

Hi,

I live in KGH, mamesh 4 minute walk from Lander College.  I will be watching the game by my inlaws who arent so frum so i will not be home all day on sunday.  I have a 42 in tv in my bedroom.  I dont have it in my living room because I dont want my children to know we have a tv in the house, chas v'shalom even see me watching it.  I only watch sports anyways. I have no problem  with a few guys renting my apartment to watch the game.  There are just a few conditions I need to make %100  sure will be kept.

1) Any food brought into my house must be Cholov Yisroel (even thought no shtark bocher is going to be eating dairy during the big game). Most importantly, every thing must be Yashan.  I take it very seriously.  Some Yidden are of the opinion that that Yashan is just a chumra.  Thats fine, those are the same people that dont wear hats and jackets while they are davening.  Its pashut to me that Yashan is not a chumra, but im not going to get into the details right now.

2) If my wife is still in Niddah, then you can probrally fit about 5 to 6 folding chairs between our beds.  Ill make sure to move the night table that separtes our beds into the living room.  If she baruch hashem is not in Nidda anymore, then you can probrally fit 3 to 4 chairs between out beds.  Oh, and please dont eat in my bedroom.

3)  I know this doesnt need to be said but I cant resist. THE TV MUST BE TURNED OFF DURING THE HALFTIME SHOW!  I heard there was a mysa a few years back where one of the woman involved in the show had a "wardrobe malfunction."  Well not in my house. Ahh but you might say that Madonna is a real masmid of Kabullah and she is on such a madreiga that the moment wont get to her.  I hear the vort, but "safek d'orysa l'chumra" so I insist on that the half time show is not to be watched in my home.

4) Hats and jackets MUST be worn to and from my apartment.  Once you get inside you can dress however you want.  You can even wear a brooks brothers light blue shirt for all I care.  I cant have my neighbors see people coming in and out of my apartment that dont look like b'nei toyrah.

5) Absolutely no gambling on the game in my house.  Gambling is for modern orthodox people who think its "ok" as long as im not sitting at a card table with another jew.  Wrong!  Not in my house.  I dont need the pictures of my Rabbeim on the wall to see bochrim gambeling in my apartment. I am charging $36.00 dollars a head, two times chai, per person who comes to watch by me. If there is serious interest, please email me back soon so I can figure out an excuse to tell my wife why we have to sleep by her parents house sunday night.

I will tell you my exact address and the place i will leave the keys
at a later time.

Tizku L'mitsvos and LETS GO GIANTS!

^