RenReb Had a (sort of) Wet T-shirt Event

So another highlight actually took place during the first seder itself.

Baruch Hashem we have a lovely Yom Tov tablecloth that was hand-embroidered by somebody's now-deceased relative, and we save it for the most special occasions, which as of this point have essentially consisted of: the seder. So obviously we are not going to stick 4,000 full cups of dark, stain-worthy liquid, such as Cream Malaga (ugh) or Concord Grape (double ugh), directly on the surface of this beautiful and prized family heirloom. No sir. We purchase a bunch of clear plastic tablecloth covers, of the approximate thickness of military-grade tent canvas, and we make sure each milimeter of that tablecloth is nice and protected. (And if anyone points out that this will make my children unattractive marriage prospects amongst certain sectors of the Orthodox Jewish world, I will gladly respond as follows: Yes, and THANK GOD for that.)

So at one point during the seder, the following things happened in close succession, all within about 35 seconds. Follow along:

My husband was reaching to pick something up, and in the process he knocked the bowl of salt water over in such a manner that it spilled directly into my lap.
I jumped up to grab the salt water bowl before it fell to the floor, and in the process I knocked Phillie's (my kid's) cup of grape juice over onto the plastic-covered tablecloth.
Several people, my husband included, leaped up to grab their napkins to try and wipe up the grape juice. In the process, Eliahu HaNavi's (very very large) cup full of dark red wine was knocked over as well.
The thickness and smoothness of the plastic cover caused the various dark liquids to run rapidly across the table in all directions, coming into contact with haggadahs, napkins, and dishes, as a number of people attempted to catch the various streams with their napkins.
Phillie started to cry about the spilled grape juice and began to reach for Phillie's (their sibling's) grape juice cup. Several adults cried out "NO, Phillie!" This made Phillie cry harder (though Phillie did give up the attempt to steal Phillie's grape juice, so all was not lost).
Phil, wanting to be helpful, decided to lift up the edges of the plastic tablecloth cover, in an apparent attempt to keep the spilled liquids from running off the table and onto people's laps and/or the floor.
I saw what Phil was doing and cried out "NO!! THE TABLECLOTH!!! PUT IT BACK DOWN!!" and attempted to lunge forward with a bunch more napkins in my hand, which I had quickly retrieved from the kitchen. In the process, I knocked Eliahu's cup back over (someone had stood it up again after it fell the first time).
Bewildered, Phil dropped the plastic cover. Immediately, several diverted wine/grape juice streams flowed rapidly towards Phil, ran off the edge of the table, and began dripping onto Phil's lap. I cried out "Oh Phil!! I'm so sorry! Here!!" and tossed Phil a bunch of napkins, most of which Phil caught, but the rest of which fell on top of another Phil's plate and almost knocked over THAT Phil's cup of wine.
All the while, Phillie was crying; my husband was apologizing for having started all of this; people were alternately gasping and trying to help; and at the end of the 35 or so seconds, well, let's just say my dress was dripping wet with salt water, Phil's clothing was (probably permanently) stained, and the entire table, including several people's haggadahs, was an absolute mess. But the embroidered tablecloth was safe. Mission accomplished.

Anyway, I thought that was a highlight worth sharing. Sort of felt like a seder with the Three Stooges, though nobody stuck their fingers in anybody's eyes, but let's just say it would have fit with the general atmosphere if they had.

Here.