He Wants To Be A Santa - But He's Jewish!?

Found here:

...My own children will be away this Christmas visiting relatives. I want to be Santa because I know how much I'll be missing them. I want to be Santa so I can give love and gifts to other children. If I can't personally give these things to my own children, I can at least try to give them to other people's children. The truth is, I'm the loneliest man in town and I want to be Santa Claus so I can distract myself, so I won't feel so much pain.

I haven't practiced my "ho-ho-hos," but plan to wing it. "Ho ho ho" from the diaphragm, "Ho ho ho" from the heart. I wanna be Santa.

My qualifications? I'm Jewish. I'm a teacher, Fulbright scholar, Guggenheim fellow and the author of 14 books. I have a beard. But mostly, for 53 years I have wanted to participate not as an envious Christmas outsider but as a wholehearted insider. What better way than to become the plump, white-bearded, old man himself?

My shortcomings? I'm tall and skinny. I am a neurotic ectomorph. I have a lean, hungry look about me, sad hazel eyes and a slightly hooked nose.

But I do have a white beard of my own—though tinged with wiry black hairs. I like children. That is, most children. Not all. The little boy down the street who applied red enamel paint to my friend's Boston terrier puppy will be lucky to get a lump of coal this Christmas...read it all)