A Jewish Conjugal Custom

As one opinion has it, the idea that conducting conjugal relations in Judaism in some circles using a sheet with a hole in it for modesty concerns is a silly error (in Hebrew). This Rabbi (in English) is confounded and replies, at best, that persons seeing the arba kanfot undergarment on laundry lines gave rise to the presumption. And even Jewcy disdains the thought. It's even in Snopes. And it is a book title.

There is/was (k/t=Failed Messiah) even a Hebrew-language blog entitled "Hole in the Sheet" but deals with the unfortunate experience of Sarah Einhorn (in Hebrew here).

As it happened, I was at the Hebrew University this past week for a conference in honor of Prof. Gadi Wolfsfeld, one of my lecturers for my MA degree and someone I have debated on panels, who is leaving that institution for IDC and took advantage to catch up on what's new in academic journals at the library. I picked up Massehet and found an article on the subject by (Natan Ophir) on Kavvanot of Conjugality on Erev Shabbat: Kabbalistic Romanticism According to R' Moshe Cordovero (but cannot find it online) and in Hebrew:

נתן אופיר, כוונות בזיווג בליל שבת: רומנטיקה קבלית לפי ר' משה קורדובירו

and he has a different take. To summarize:

a) in the book Tefila L'Moshe, Section 9:9, p. 187b,

the Kabbalist specifies (bottom of page) that at the time of conjugal union, the husband and wife should be naked:

"according to the secret, [they] must be naked at the time of sexual union".

Ophir opines that if the Ramak emphasized this rule, then perhaps there were persons who did not act in this way.

b) we do know that modesty concerns as regards clothing included, for example, the obligation for a woman to wear an undergarment that covers fore and aft to prevent even accidental acts by animals as recorded in the Talmud Yerushalmi, Megillah 29b-30a:

דף כט,ב פרק ד הלכה א גמרא - מפני כבודן של בנות ישראל הוא התקין שיהו מכבסין בחמישי מפני כבוד השבת הוא התקין שיהו אופין פת בערבי שבתות שתהא פרוסה מצויה לעני הוא התקין שיהו אוכלין שום בלילי שבתות שהוא מכניס אהבה ומוציא תאוה הוא התקין שיהו הנשים מדברות זו עם זו בבה"כ הוא התקין שתהא אשה חוגרת בסינר בין מלפניה בין מלאחריה א"ר תנחום בר חייה מפני מעשה שאירע מעשה באשה שבעלה קוף מכדרכה ושלא כדרכה

c) but what about that sheet and its hole?

As it happens, it does appear in the Talmud, again in the Yerushalmi, Yevamot 1a-b:

דף א,א פרק א הלכה א גמרא - אתיא דרבי הונה כאבא שאול דתנא אבא שאול אומר הכונס את יבמתו לשום נוי או לשום דברים אחרים הרי זו בעילת זנות וקרוב להיות הוולד ממזר. דף א,ב פרק א הלכה א גמרא מה אבא שאול כר' עקיבה דר' עקיבה אמר יש ממזר ביבמה מה דא"ר עקיבה ביבמה שזינתה מה דאמר אבא שאול ביבמתו אתיא כר' יוסי בר חלפתא דרבי יוסי בן חלפתא ייבם את אשת אחיו חמש חרישות חרש וחמש נטיעות נטע ודרך סדין בעל

relating to an incident of yibum, levirate marriage, when Yossi Bar Halafta, according to Abba Shaul, when having sexual relations with his brother's widow, did it five times through a sheet, obviously out of modesty concerns.

So, it was practiced in those unique, personal, circumstances but may have been adopted and R' Cordovero was adamant that it was wrong.

________

UPDATE

Natan sent me this:

Dr. Natan Ophir (Offenbacher)

Meditative Instructions For Friday Night Conjugal Intimacy:
Romantic Kabbalah in the Writings of R. Moshe Cordovero

Abstract of article published in Massekhet, vol. 10, by Matan Jerusalem, October 2010, pp. 87-113, (English abstract 12-13).

How should love, intimacy, and joy be aroused? What is the secret for transforming physical love into a spiritual vehicle? In what ways can conjugal sex become a powerful tool to connect to the Divine? Such questions are addressed by RaMaK, R. Moshe Cordovero (1522–1570), one of the most prolific Kabbalist thinkers in Jewish history. In Ohr Yakar, his commentary to the Zohar, and in Tefillah LeMoshe, his commentary and meditative manual to the liturgy, RaMaK provides guidance on why, when and how to make love.

RaMaK quotes with approbation a 14th century Kabbalistic dictum that a person who has not experienced physical sexual passion cannot truly discover spiritual love for God. He reprimands those who advocate pious sex by using the "hole in the sheet" method. In reality, they wedge an artificial separation between male and female and prevent a truly intimate union. Instead, relying upon the authority of the Zohar, RaMaK argues for a romantic-spiritual experience.

This article contrasts the tantalizing instructions of the RaMaK to the prevalent halachic-moralistic traditions of leading authorities such as the Rambam, Raavad, Tur and Shulhan Arukh who tended to mitigate the pleasure element in sex. In contrast, RaMaK justifies a romantic intimacy that breaks away from the ascetic trend. He frames conjugal sex as a redemptive undertaking that creates harmony in both interpersonal relations and in the spiritual world of the Divine Sefirot.

RaMaK demonstrates the inherent value of love and sex at the proper time and place. He explains why Friday night is most conducive to creating the spiritual transformation. He details the Kabbalistic premises underlying the physical-mystical sexual intimacy as essential to both channeling erotic desire and facilitating the flow of Divine Influx (Shefa).

In sum, this article analyzes RaMaK's exposition upon the Zoharic 'secrets' for arousing passion and then transforming it into a vehicle for spiritual unification. It demonstrates how this is part of a mindfulness practice inherent in the meditative Kabbalah developed by the RaMaK and his colleagues in 16th century Tzfat. The article concludes by suggesting that the RaMaK's approach is a rudimentary model of what we might call "Kosher Tantra".

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