Torture? Oh, that Torture!

I read this, published in The Forward, and jumped to the wrong conlusion.

Rabbis, Cantors Step Up Campaign Against Torture
By Ori Nir
September 23, 2005
WASHINGTON — An interdenominational group of more than 700 North American rabbis and cantors is stepping up its "campaign to end U.S.-sponsored torture" through a combination of political lobbying, protests and grass-roots mobilizing in synagogues.

I mistakenly thought that the "torture" they were referring to was that of long-winded sermons and off-key melodies sung as if the synagogue was an opera house.

Now, don't get me wrong. I love a good sermon and I have a dozen chazzanut CDs at home. It's just that if done wrong, it's torture.

Which recalls the joke about the schule's rabbi, chazan and president being taken captive by terrorists and threatened to be shot if their demands are not met.

The rabbi seeks a reprieve to prepare his 40 minute Rosh Hashana speech and then read it out before they shoot him. The chazan asks for a reprieve to prepare his 20 minute Kol Nidre and then sing it before being shot. The terrorists, in a favorable mood, then ask the schule president if he has any special requests and he replies:-

"If you are going to give in to the Rabbi and Chazan, then please, take me out and shoot me first."